Just Share This: October 2010

Funny

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America .

MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria.
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TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
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TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
______________________________ ______________
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talk ing about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
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TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
__________________________________________

TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
_______________________________________
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I.'
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
_________________________________
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it.

Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
______________________________________

TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
_____________________ _________

TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.
________________________ ___________
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher
___________________ _______________

JUST SHARE THIS AROUND AND MAKE SOMEONE LAUGH!
LAUGHTER IS THE SOUL'S MEDICINE

Marriage Jokes

Marriage (Part I )

Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady
and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules:
"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want
-- and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner
to be on the table unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner.
I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card-playing when I want
with my old buddies, and don't you give me a hard time about it.
Those are my rules. Any comments?"
His new bride said:
"No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex
here at seven o'clock every night... whether you're here or not."

(DARN SHE'S GOOD!)
************ ******* ************ ********* ********
Marriage (Part II)

Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their
40th wedding anniversary!
The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone
that reads, 'Here Lies My Wife -- Cold As Ever'!"
"Yeah?" she replies. "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone
that reads, 'Here Lies My Husband -- Stiff At Last'!"

(HE ASKED FOR IT!)

************ ********* ********* ***** ******
Marriage (Part III)

Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table.
Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no
good in bed either," and storms out of the house.
After some time he realizes he was nasty and
decides to make amends and rings her up.
She comes to the phone after many rings,
and the irritated husband says, "What took
you so long to answer to the phone?"
She says, "I was in bed."
"In bed this early, doing what?"
"Getting a second opinion!"
(YEP, HE HAD THAT COMING, TOO!)

************ ********* ********* ********* **
Marriage (Part IV)

A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement.
He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his
wife," Mother of Six" in spite of her objections.
One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it is time to
go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well.
He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home Mother of Six?"
Hi s wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion,
shouts right back, "Any time you're ready, Father of Four."

(RIGHT ON, LADY!)
************ ********* ********* ********* **
THE SILENT TREATMENT

A man and his wife were having some proble ms at home
And were giving each other the silent treatment.
Suddenly the man realized that the next day he would need his wife
to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE),
He wrote on a piece of paper,"Please wake me at 5:00 AM."
He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it
was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight.
Furious, he was about to go to see why his wife hadn't wakened
him when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said,
"It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."

Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

************ ********* ********* ********* **

God may have created man before woman, but there
Is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.

************ ** ************ ** *********** **

Just Share This to smart women who need a laugh
and to men you think can handle it

Just Share This: About Me

Hi I just wanna talk about this new blog site of mine. "Just Share This". This website blog of mine will talk about my personal life stories. Just Share This also insterested to right about new things and strange things that I will share to those guys visting my blogs. If needed I will share also my experiences about our Almighty. Just Share This blog is just on of my hobbies in my free time from my works. I am just knew for blogging and learning how to blog. Just Share This is expressing a heartfelt things to you for visiting this blog regularly. I just wanna share a little part of my self. I am an engineer in cebu,smiling and a friendly one. I would be happy if you will be one of my followers. And I will be glad too if you will write comments reactions on my post after reading. Thank you for visiting on my blog "Just Share This".

If you like too, just share it also to your friends about my blogs.

About Wives

SUBJECT : A B O U T W I V E S

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
Sacha Guitry

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
Hemant Joshi

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. Socrates

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.

Dumas

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?
Sigmund Freud

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
Anonymous

"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
Henny Youngman

"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."

Sam Kinison

"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."
James Holt McGavran

"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't."
Patrick Murray

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
Nash

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...

Anonymous

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
Henny Youngman

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
Rodney Dangerfield

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
Milton Berle

Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.
Anonymous

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
Anonymous

First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

SHARE THIS TO ALL THE GUYS TO GIVE THEM A GOOD LAUGH......AND TO THOSE LADIES WITH A SENSE OF HUMOUR WHO CAN HANDLE IT!!!!!

Blood Clots/Stroke - They Now Have a Fourth Indicator, the Tongue

I will continue to share this every time it comes around, some things are too important not to share!

STROKE: Remember the 1st Three Letters.... S. T. R.

STROKE IDENTIFICATION:

During a BBQ, a woman stumbled and took a little fall - she assured everyone that she was fine (they offered to call paramedics) .she said she had just tripped over a brick because of her new shoes.They got her cleaned up and got her a new plate of food. While she appeared a bit shaken up, Jane went about enjoying herself the rest of the evening.Jane's husband called later telling everyone that his wife had been taken to the hospital at 6:00 pm Jane passed away. She had suffered a stroke at the BBQ. Had they known how to identify the signs of a stroke, perhaps Jane would be with us today. Some don't die. They end up in a helpless, hopeless condition instead.

It only takes a minute to read this....

A neurologist says that if he can get to a stroke victim within 3 hours he can totally reverse the effects of a stroke...totally. He said the trick was getting a stroke recognized, diagnosed, and then getting the patient medically cared for within 3 hours, which is tough.

RECOGNIZING A STROKE

Thank God for the sense to remember the '3' steps, STR .
Read and Learn!
Sometimes symptoms of a stroke are difficult to identify. Unfortunately, the lack of awareness spells disaster. The stroke victim may suffer severe brain damage when people nearby fail to recognize the symptoms of a stroke.

Now doctors say a bystander can recognize a stroke by asking three simple questions:

S *Ask the individual to SMILE.

T *Ask the person to TALK and SPEAK A SIMPLE SENTENCE (Coherently)

(i.e. It is sunny out today.)

R *Ask him or her to RAISE BOTH ARMS.

If he or she has trouble with ANY ONE of these tasks, call emergency number immediately and describe the symptoms to the dispatcher.

New Sign of a Stroke -------- Stick out Your Tongue

NOTE: Another 'sign' of a stroke is this: Ask the person to 'stick' out his tongue... If the tongue is 'crooked', if it goes to one side or the other, that is also an indication of a stroke.

A cardiologist says if everyone who reads and share this post.You can bet that at least one life will be saved.

I have done my part.
Will you?

Please comment and share.thanks

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Great Things

Attempt great things for God and expect great things from God. william carey

Who Is In Control Of Your Life?

Have you experienced things happen in your life without our expecting it would happen. Sometimes we tend feel fear, worried and even cried and feel nervous. Whom you are trusting in circumstances like this?

As a followers of Christ, we know we need to yield Him as Lord of our lives. We can do that without fear as we remind ourselves that we would never be reckless in the way He leads and guide us. We need to learn and relax in Him and believe that He can handle anything He allows to come into our lives.

Although we need to plan and live responsibly, we are wise to recognize Gods control Proverbs 16:9

It is Gods will, not our efforts, that keep us alive and safe. The best place to be is in His Hands.

Whom you are trusting daily?

Write your comments below....salamat

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Blood Clots/Stroke - They Now Have a Fourth Indicator, the Tongue

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